100 million years from now, Frodo might be the new Jesus Christ. The Lord of the Rings, the new bible. And Tolkien, the new God. Have you ever thought that this might happen? One can never tell. The Bible might actually just be just a popular novel in it's time, rather than something thought to be the "word of God."

I also would like to think that Lestat, rather than Frodo, might be the new Jesus Christ. The same way that the Vampire Chronicles, the new Bible and Anne Rice, the new God. It just feels sexier that way. The emotional part of The Vampire Chronicles feels so real that you might think that vampires do actually exist. Each book was well written enough to portray the very dept of each character – kindness, loneliness, pain, corruptness and savagery. You always stop and think that somehow, they are human-like, yet at the same time, not at all.

But then again, I think that The Lord of the Rings would fit the Bible-like image more than The Vampire Chronicles – probably due to the good-vs-evil sort of thing, more than anything else.

In October, Chette and Philip are celebrating their 7 years of service as  Christians. Now that I think of it, I've been an atheist for 7 years 2 months already. I chose to become an Atheist a few months before Chette and Philip got converted to Born Again Christians. That's right, became an Atheist by choice. It is the religious path I've decided to take, in conclusion for my futile attempt  to search for my life's purpose. I've been religion hopping and going to several religious services for trial until I met Tony, who introduced me and offered me to join the conversations, debates, etc, in Pinoy Atheists group for a peek of their beliefs and philosophies. And few months later, I officially joined the group.

I remembered those days back in my early years in college. When Chette and Philip met Ran-nii, and got them converted to Christianity, there were so much drama going on that things became way too serious that I kinda got annoyed, but decided to simply stepped down. "It was their choice to begin with, they looked happy with it, so let them be." was what was in my thoughts and remained quiet. Freedom of self-expression is the one thing I wanted to grant to people around me, at least.

Several months after that, things started to settle down. Yet, to my surprise, I found Ran-nii (that friend who converted Chette and Philip to Christianity) posting in the Pinoy Atheists group. I got curious and started to wonder why would somebody of that status (religious-wise), post in the group. I simply welcomed him to the group and left him alone since I don't want to get myself involved with their religious drama. And then, several months later, he told me that he officially converted from an Agnostic to an Atheist.

Isn't it ironic?

Mid last week, Lolo's wife, Tita Rita, was sent to the hospital. Lolo's face reflected both pain and relief. Pain for what happened to Tita Rita and relief that she's fine after the examinations. Seeing Lolo's face that week made me think hard and wonder. If I would be in such a tight situation, with mixed feelings, where I'm stuck in the middle and do not know where to go, where no matter how hard I try, I couldn't do anything but to stand by and watch someone painfully and wait, I wondered then if would I call on His name for help and once again and start to believe that there's someone somewhere who's watching.

Last Saturday morning, we received a call from my cousin, Yan that our grandmother was sent to the ER. Luckily, I was done with the moving, arranging and cleaning of my stuffs to my new pad that Friday night. We rushed to the hospital to find out what happened and how she's doing so far. When we arrive, she can't move nor speak. Her eyes were open but she doesn't recognize us. It's as if she doesn't even see us. We stayed there for a few hours and left right after. While on the way home, I thought that feeling that same pain was very quick to hit me back. I'm on that edge of being helpless again where I can't do anything but stay silent and wait for the results. The feeling of those hours were like years and waiting for those decade-like days were painful that it nulled my entire body. Then and there, it reminded me of that same thought I was having - on this same situation, would I end up kneeling down and pray?

Then, the next day, as we were talking with my cousin, she was saying that at worst case, she could end up in a comma. If that would be the case, she says, she would be better off dead than in pain. I agree to her point that if she would live the remains of hr life in pain, it would be better for her to just die instead of suffer, but of course, I remained silent. My mom, however, disagreed and went on a rampage. She said, who are we to question what God has decided. God gave her life, who are we to just take it like that. I wanted to tell her that if God gave her a life where she suffers so much pain and she doesn't even have a choice but to just accept it, where she can't even move for a fact, then God is cruel. But of course, like usual, I remained silent. As they were arguing in the phone, I left to take a bath. As I was in deep thoughts and wondering what would happen in a few days and thought if somewhere deep inside me, do I still believe in God? After a while of thinking, as I was drying myself, I realized that a divine being, no matter how small or big something came to me, is something I will no longer have faith in. Evey single thing, no matter the size of it, it will need our own efforts, our own strength to go through and putting it all up to a divine being would be the same as having someone by your side. Having God hear your burdens is the same as sharing your pains with your friends and family. To make it simpler, it's like wanting someone to hear you and be there for you to make you feel a little better.

Then and there, I thought that if God was real, I would feel pity over him. That people just call unto him whenever it is convenient for them. When people are at the edge of everything else, they would remember to call his name, other than that, it's as if, he isn't even there.

PS: My grandma's fine now. :)

Will someone tell me why a god wouldn’t do something as simple as that to prevent the existence of infidels and thus human barbecues in hell? I mean, dude.
- Martin's post Dear God.

You see, God is a great marketing strategist. Of course, because He is God. Since he created everything your eyes could see, everything your nose can smell, everything your ears could hear, everything your skin could feel and everything your hands would touch. To make it short, damn everything! And because he is such an omni-everything, thinking of a good marketing plan is as easy as kicking a lifeless stone lying around your path. And so he thought of a good plan to promote himself and he gave us this thing called "freedom." (I would like to emphasize the word "FREE.") This "freedom" gives us the ability to choose. We can choose weather to believe in Him or not. (I would like to point out that not believing doesn't mean denying.) But of course, like any other product promotion, it has a catch. Of course, there is no such thing as giving without getting something in return. The mere idea of it is just plain stupid. Anyway, here's the catch: if you choose to believe in him, you would be entitled with a free ticket to heaven. But of course, this ticket still depends on how you lived your life on Earth. If you broke the promo mechanics a.k.a. the Ten Commandments, that ticket wont be awarded to you. And of course, if you did not believe in him, there's no ticket for you. Nyeh. Therefore, you'll die suffering in the fires of hell for all eternity. Very easy to follow conditions, no? Even if you're not educated, you would still be able to understand. But then since I am a person with a limited logical capability, a.k.a. a retard, all those would mean the same thing to me as "Love me/believe in me or suffer forever in the fires of hell."

Oh and since we're talking about hell, Satan is promoting his new and improved oven that would fit about 500 trillion people inside. He said, he was expecting a lot in his door by the time the world ends so he'll have the need for a few thousands more of such ovens so the other ovens are still under construction.

If you want a demonstration, just follow these 3 easy steps:

1. Get a knife. The sharper, the better.
2. Stab yourself. Anywhere is fine just make sure you die, okay? Half dead and under a vegetable state in a hospital doesn't count. If in case your hands start to shiver, even before you stab yourself, better give it up because you're a wuss. You can try again later, however.
3. Wait until the end of the world comes. I'm pretty sure, someone will pick you up or better yet, you'll fall?

You know who you are.

Look, I have nothing against you nor I have anything against Iglesia ni Cristo people. And frankly, I don't even give a damn about your religion.

You don't understand me because you are born and raised as an INC and I suspect you would even die an INC. Since you were young, you were taught tirelessly by the people around you that God is good, God is the omni-everything in this world, and that when the world comes to and end, you would have an eternal bliss. You would not feel pain nor suffering. And God himself will welcome you with arms wide open to His kingdom in heaven. But, if you aren't one from those few chosen people, you would drown in the rain of fire, when the world comes to an end. You would cry endlessly in pains of burnt. All you would hear are the screaming voices of people in agony of the same fate you are facing. The blood the comes our of your cuts would never heal. You will witness your very body slowing rotting away as the worms eat your flesh slowly. Ah... err... *ahem* I think, I went a little too far there. But you get the idea. To make it simpler, you would feel exactly how chickens feels when you try to barbecue them alive.

Anyway, back to what I was saying, since you were a child, you were taught things like that. Unlike you, I wasn't originally born a Christian. I was a Buddhist originally. In fact, according to my grandmother, she made me a godchild of her bodhisattva, Guan Yin. My grandmother is a faithful follower of her and drags me to temples every time. Every single day at 6 pm, I got up at the small temple built at the top of our house to pray to her. But then sometimes, you have to grow up and decide for yourself. You have to learn to be on your own. You have to believe in things you believe and not because you were brainwashed that way.

Did you even once had the initiative to question what is given to you? You're like a child being given a bottle of acid and drank it straight without even knowing what it was or asking if you could drink it. So I lack the faith, huh? Then I would have to correct you there. It's not that "I lack the faith", rather, "I don't have it" in the first place. Also, you don't have that right to tell me that I lack faith. Someone who just say yes and nods their heads always in agreement to what an elder or a pastor says, who has never even doubted or questioned what he believes in, who never even think or feel if they are even right or wrong has no such right to tell people who arrived at their conclusion that they are wrong.

In my opinion, there was never right or wrong. It's all about acceptance of what each of us believes in. Why does the fact of me being an atheist bothers you so much as to try to "rebuke" me in the most senseless manner? I am shutting my mouth up for that fact that I am an atheist. But, it doesn't mean that I am denying the fact that I am one nor it means that I wouldn't rebuke you. It doesn't bother me that you are an INC, a Born Again Christian, an Evangelist, a Wiccan, a Satanist or whatever. Why would it bother me anyway? Bluntly, who the hell do you think you even are so that I would need to be bothered? O_o

Just a friendly advise, friend, you keep your God to yourself and put Him out again if the topic arises or when someone asks you. For a fact, I am not even asking. I am actually not even interested. If you believe in the existence of God, then so be it. You don't have to rub it to me that your God exists. I don't believe that your God exist nor any other gods exists. I believe that God merely exists because people wanted him to, people needed him to. God is a proof of our existence. But we are not proof of His existence. And that;s my opinion, and I'm not rubbing it to you.