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Photo credit: visualioner.com

Every year, on this day, I’m reminded of one beautiful person, a great guitarist who changed mine and a lot more other people’s lives with his music.

Every year, on this day, I pay tribute to one of the people who changed how I view the world, humanity, and probably, my general outlook of life.

Every year, on this day, I think of things like, what if hide had lived all this time? I wonder how he would look like now? He would probably have a wife and kids. He’ll probably have concerts everywhere by now, not just Japan. And we would probably like each and every single post he does on social network, too. And he’ll post pictures of how silly he is with his friends.

But, in the end, everything is just wishful thinking. Because 18 years ago, we already lost that beautiful smile.

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It’s my birthday. And It’s also my last year in the calendar.

I’m old.

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Regression?

Hello blog,

It’s been a while. I know I have neglected you for so long. It’s not that I’ve forgotten about you. It’s more like, I ran out of things to say.

It’s more than that, actually. In truth, I have a lot of things to say. A lot of things pop into my mind. But I just don’t know where to start or how I should express them. I think of how, but then after a while, I would just give up on the idea and let things pass me by slowly.

Lately, I feel like drifting in a endless space – no where to go, no where to run. I don’t even have the energy to think of where to go, or where to run, or what to do.

I think happy thoughts and look at happy things and do things that I used to love, but somehow, they are not the same. Yes, they make me happy, but the happiness is temporary. As soon as the book ends, I’m sad again. As soon as the music ends, I feel empty again. The things that I used to love don’t give me the same satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment as they did before. Like how I used to be able to watch seasons after seasons of TV series, but now, after 2 or 3 episodes, I get bored with it. Although I still watch them until the end, but I finish them not because I find them fun to watch, but more like out of obligation to myself that I have to finish everything that I started.

I do not know what’s wrong with me, I just feel so… I feel nothing, I have no opinion of anything, and I don’t even think I want to do anything or even care about other people. I just want to lock myself away in my room and stare at the ceiling for hours and hours, thinking nothing.

I don’t think I’m regressing back to being a shut-in. I think I’m regressing back to being a slowpoke or a stone or something.

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Poracay

poracay

The view from a man-made beach in Poracay, Pampanga. We went here for a 2-day getaway with my team mates from work. It’s a load of fun, and the place is beautiful!

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Craft N’ Create

I ordered a bunch of inserts for my Midori Traveler’s Notebook Passport size. I hoarded these for the start of the year.

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