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Subject: How have you been?


Hey, how have you been? It’s raining hard here tonight. The windows are getting covered with moist that I could hardly see the view outside anymore. There’s a usual cup of tea beside my desk, nothing’s changed since you left. I wonder what would your reaction be when you receive this since I haven’t written you letters for so long. I’m happy that even though we were are so far away, I could still send you my feelings like this.

I’ve attached my complete domain details and my blog password with this e-mail. Please update my blog for me when I leave. Please tell them that I’ll be going. That it had been a long journey and I’ve reached the end of my road. I’m happy that I met such beautiful people along the way. I couldn’t express how they all mean the world to me and that blogging was fun.

Every last minute I have left I spend with all my memories of you. I wish for your happiness more than anyone. Take care, and I love you.

You’re e-mail has been sent.

Let It Rain



Sleeping so soundly, she was like an angel lying on a clean white bed sheet as the light from the sun shines down gently at her face as if it were kissing her. A moment later, her cellphone rang. She reached for it under her pillow and answered in a soft gentle voice, “Yes, hello?” “How have you been? This is me.” Upon hearing it, she was suddenly wide awake and got up her bed, looking all surprised. It was a man with deep gentle voice who replied. A voice she hasn’t heard for a really long time. She couldn’t say a word because of the shock as the conversation paused a while. “Hello? Are you still there?” The man asked. Realizing that she hasn’t said a word, she immediately replied, “Yes, I am. It’s been a while.” In a very familiar atmosphere, she continued on as their conversation lasted for a few more minutes. And after, she got up to take a shower, put on her usual make up and went straight to work.

During the conversation, they agreed to meet by their favorite coffee shop at 7 pm to catch up on the old times. It had been ten years since they last saw each other on that faithful day they broke up. And even though she kept reminding herself, it didn’t help. She still couldn’t concentrate on her job and kept thinking of what’s going to happen when both of their eyes meet again after all those years.

Hours passed by so quickly and it was already six in the evening. She left one last look at her work, said her daily goodbyes to her workmates and left hurriedly in her Mazda 3 straight to the coffee shop. She arrived ten minutes before seven — just enough time for her to relax a while before the meeting time. But to her another surprise, he was already there. According to the shop owner that was also their friend, he was there 30 minutes early of their agreed time. Of course, she was touched terribly and went straight to the table where he has been sitting for half an hour.

With an apologetic face, she said, “Hi. I’m sorry you waited long.” Immediately, he smiled and replied, “Hello. It’s been a while. Don’t worry about it. I know you’re busy and you aren’t even late.” “Still–” she replied killing all attempts for another conversation.

A few minutes of silence passed between them until he broke it with an offer of something to eat. They spent more than two hours catching up with each other until finally they decided to leave for another place — her apartment. She offered her car and he offered to drive it to her place as both of them agreed.

The rain started dripping to the windshield. He switched the radio on. As they listen to the usual nighttime program, they drive passed through the streets they used to walk along together and seeing the places they used to go. Everything from their past came rushing through between them — the happiness they spent together, the troubles they went through, their dreams, their hopes, and even their pains. All of their feelings came back as if their life’s VCR were momentarily rewound.

Upon arrival to her apartment, she asked him to feel comfortable on the couch as she went to the kitchen and offered him something to drink. Both of them stared at the rain slowly dripping on the window for a while, as she filled his glass with wine. “It was a rainy night like this too, was it not?” She said, still staring at the window, breaking the silence between them. Unsurprised, he paused for a while and looked at her for a moment and replied, “Yes…,” as he turns his face down. She stared at him for a few seconds and started walking back to the kitchen to return the bottle of wine. She closed her eyes as her lips gently touched that cold glass, feeling that red blood liquid slowly rushed down her esophagus. Then after, she put down her glass and continues on to break the silence once again. “It’s a great wine, right?” She insisted. “I brought it home the last time I went to France.” She added. He faces up to her again and took another drink from the wine she offered and replied, “Yes. It is.” She sat beside him and stayed there not uttering anything again. He held her hand and softly whispered, “I’m sorry.” She, in return, faced him and held his face gently as she kissed her forehead. She ran her hands through her soft silky hair, caressed his face again and closed her eyes and finally kissed his warm lips as he wrap his arms around her tightly.

His warm lips slowly turned cold as the once reddish color turned blue. She opened her eyes and broke away from those hands that embraced her as she watched him turned pale by the second that passed. Coldly, she stared at him as he crawl himself up to standing, removing the sharp knife that was stabbed in his chest and put it away to the table. For a moment, she stared at her blood stained hands and after, rushed off to the kitchen to wash away the red dark sticky liquid. As soon as she wiped her hands clean, she reached for her purse and pulled out a pack of cigarette. With her hands shivering lightly, she put a stick up to her lips and lighted it up. She inhaled deeply and returned to her usual calm self when she exhaled. She looked back to him straight in the eyes and said, “I kept my promise.” He sat back up to the couch and laid himself slowly. He stared up to her, smiled and whispered, “Yes, thank you. And I’m sorry.”

As he slowly closed his eyes, that one last scene he saw, was hers looking straight back at him with swollen eyes and a face drenched with tears.

Let It Rain
Chapter 3: Promise

There’s an edited version here: The Promise

Let It Rain


Joy Ride

The running water form the shower continued on for hours. He was in deep thoughts. A few minutes later, he slowly turned the shower off and reached for the towel hanging on his right. He gently wiped his wet muscular body as the water from his hair drip down. The towel ran down his soft smooth pale skin like that of a woman’s as he walked straight back near his bed. He stared at his naked reflection from the mirror, once again recalling people’s words of how beautiful and sexy he was. He closed his eyes. And walked a few steps to grab something to wear from his wardrobe.

He picked up a turtle-necked Dior long-sleeved shirt and wore a black Versace bottom. He dried his hair and combed it like how he usually do and wore his Cartier watch on his right wrist. He sprayed on his favorite Armani perfume and he was ready to leave his room. He went down to his luxurious living room with a bar beside it and straight out from the front door. He chose to take his Harley Davidson bike this time as he wore his helmet and started to warm his engine to go. And so, he left his Mediterranean styled house.

While driving, he was thinking of how healthy his current life is. He’s a gentleman who’s at his early late 20s; lives alone in a house of his own; a successful businessman who owns a few of this and that; owner of 2 cars, a bike, and a costly cellular phone; a pretty face who was always a cover on magazines; a model who’s always surrounded by pretty women; a healthy bachelor who sleeps out every now and then; a blessed man as most people may call him – physical and financial wise.

While in his deep thoughts doing his regular night time joy ride, suddenly, he started to feel the light rain falling. He thought of playing under the rain for a while. Getting wet once in a while doesn’t hurt, after all. A few more minutes, the rain was getting stronger. He speed up twice as much as how fast he was running – 80 kilometers per hour, 100 kilometers, and speeding more by the minute. The road lights while he was speeding up emits a feeling of peacefulness and clarity. It’s as if he’s flying from another dimension. There’s nothing else in his mind but to speed up more and more. And when he finally woke up from what it seemed like a daydream, he decided to leave all else behind. He closed his eyes. He crashed his bike. The post where he hit his head seemed like shaking. His blood was running down covering his face. He started up to the sky where the rain falls down and thought for a while that the rain falls down in an infinite amount. He reached his hand up high and tried to catch the rain. His strength started draining and so he put his hand down his chest. He paused for a while and then whispered, “That’s about it.” He smiled to the light that came from the post he crashed. And the light slowly fades out.

The rain was pouring hard that night as the traffic jammed along the road. Aside from the loud sound of the pouring rain, there were the sirens that seemed to last throughout the night.

Let It Rain
Chapter 1: Joy Ride

The first of the “Let it Rain” series. I hope you enjoyed it.

Let It Rain


It’s Okay to Cry

She was walking the streets on her way home, one day.

“Yo. musta?”, someone snuck through her back, grinning widely.

Expressionless, thinking who could the idiot be, and she was surprised and said, “You’re alive?”

“Of course, what do you expect?”, he winked.

“Still a big flirt, I see.” She remembers how he was always surrounded by girls back in their school days.

“Yeah, still pretty much the same old me. And what about you? What happened to you?”

“What, what happened to me?”

He started to stare at her from head to foot, stopped, and goes around looking at her.

“Stop staring at me like that, idiot.”, she punched him in the arms.

“Gosh, your attitude never fades. You’re still flat chested as it was. But what the heck’s wrong with your taste, nowadays? You’ve become… geeky.”

“What the~!”, in an angry voice, she said, as she glared at him.

He was frightened by the look in her eyes and replied, “Wooww… Easy, girl.”

She turned around and starts leaving.

Catches up, running, “Wait up! Is that how you are to treat someone after not seeing each other for years?”


“Seriously… you’ve changed a lot.”


“Alam mo, you’re always the type who never leaves the house without accessories. Christmas tree kung baga. Not to mention, you’re a cross-freak. Every time we see something with a cross, binibili mo kaagad, without even any hesitation. Good thing ankh never interest you, but your heck scary of buying all those crosses. Aside from that, you never leave your house without wearing at least one. Now I’m seeing you without any accessories, without even a cross-earing, and on top of that, in a yellow colored shirt? I’m getting sick.”

“Shut up!”


“I’ve… changed…”

“I know.”


“For how long have you been this way?”

“I couldn’t quite remember, sorry.”

“This is not you.”


“Is it because of them, that you changed this much?”

“No, I wanted to change my image. I wanted to be someone who can be easily approached by people. Someone who is friendlier. Someone who smiles everyday. Someone who is loved by all. Someone…”

“… not you.” He intercepted.

She was shocked sudden reply and can’t utter a word for a while. Still she pushed, saying it in a angry manner, “How can you say that? You don’t even know how I feel.”

“Putang ina! Stop living in lies!” He yelled.

“…” She was totally unable to speak and just bowed down her head.

“I know perfectly how you feel. Of all people, it is I who knows you best.”


“Do you still wear your boots?”, a sudden change of topic.

“Of course. I even bought one recently.”

“I see…” he said in a sigh.

She continued on to change their topic, “By the way, I love those eyeliners your wearing.”

“It’s Revion, you know. And I got a new set of earings too.” Pointing to his pierced ears. He said boastfully as if without a care.

“Rich as ever.”



And there was a long silence between them.

Out of the blue, “Hindi ko na pakikialaman ang bago mong lifestyle.”, he was staring at a rock, looking serious, and suddenly kicks it. “Gusto mo yan eh.”, he stopped and kicks another rock, “I just want you to stop wearing that mask. Be yourself. Do this not for me, but for yourself.”

She shook her head down again to the floor, somehow feeling a bit of shame to realize what she had been doing and replied, “Yes.”

“…” He stares up the sky as if he was day dreaming, still in a serious face.

She stopped, sits on the edge of the road, “Honestly…”, still staring at the floor, “nagising ako ng isang umagang may kulang sa sarili ko. Tagal ko ring nakatulala’t iniisip ko kung ano nga ba yung bagay na yun na kulang sakin. ‘Putang-ina, ano ba to?’, sabi ko. Narealized ko na lang isang araw, habang nag-aayos ako ng mga gamit ko, na hindi na ako ito. Tinitigan ko yung sarili ko sa salamin ng matagal. At sabay tanong ko sa sarili ko kung sino ba ‘tong taong ‘tong nakaktitig sakin mula sa salamin. Hindi ko na kilala kung sino ako. Hindi ko alam kung alin nga ba dito sa mga ito ang totoong ako. I felt so unreal. I felt so sad to know that of all things I have to lose, I have to lose my real self. Then, I started to wonder kung san ako magsisimulang maghanap. Where would I start looking for myself. With just the thought of it, I tremble in fear. Fear na hindi ko na mahanap ang sarili ko.”


“At some point, I’m thankful to have seen you here, randomly.”, smiles with tears forming in her eyes, “You made me realize who I was. And I could start from there. Maybe eventually, I could find my true self. In time, maybe…”

“And when you do, you are to treat me with a luxurious meal.” He tried to change the mood to a brighter one.

And she bit it and went with the flow. “Are you planning to get me broke? For so you know, I’m jobless.”

“For hell I care. Gumawa ka ng paraan.”, he smiles, “Well, gotta go, mom’s waiting! See ya!”

“Bye!” She shouted while seeing him waved his hand while walking further away, and softly whispered, “And thank you…”

She started walking her way back again. And reminisce their past together. She went pass the sari-sari store that they were use to bystand back then. She stared at the sari-sari store bench and remembered stupid pranks they made together.

“That stupid guy.” she thought while smiling.

When she was a few corners away from home…

*beep beep*

“Text? Now who could be texting me? It’s seldom I received text messages.” She thought.

It was a text message from him, her best friend, “Huh? We were just talking a while ago. Now what does he want? Kulit talaga.”

“Sweetheart, this is your tita. My son, he just died of a car accident.”

The instant she read the message there was no other thing in her mind but to hurry to their house, “This is not a good joke”, she thought. Immediately, stopped and road a jeepney to their house. As she worriedly barged in, she saw his mother, crying in the living room.

His mother approached her and said crying, “He just arrived from the airport and was on his way to your house to surprise you that he’s back. But the taxi he was riding hit a bus. He was rushed to the hospital but he died before he even arrived. I just got a call from the hospital when I text you.”

She just stared at the woman in front of her in shock. It’s as if her world stopped. Her body became numbed. And her strength were drained away from her as if some force is sucking it up. His mother’s voice is slowly fading. Until she can no longer hear anything. Not a teardrop fell from her eyes. Even until the burial was over, she remained in shock and still, not crying.

His mother felt pity on her and embraced her tight. She knew not what to do to bring her back to herself and make her finally realize he was gone. All she could do is embraced her silently that whole afternoon. The sun finally sets slowly, as the people were leaving one after another. His mother in her embrace, caresses her hair softly as she leaned her had over her chest, finally whispered words on which, after hearing, her tears finally fell.

The one sentence she heard clearly and was engraved to her mind and soul. The words, “Sweetheart, it’s okay to cry…”


Drenched in Tears

It was a sunny morning when she decided to go to a mall to buy something. She met a few friends along the way, chatted with them for a bit and went on. Staring at the brightly shining sun, she slowly pushed the clear glass door of the mall and a greeting and a breeze from the air-condition welcomed her as she enters. She quickly glanced to the right when she heard a voice calling out her name from the crowd and saw a friend. She smiled, approached, and chatted with the friend long enough to get another man in the picture. She love him. Full-heartedly as she never want to give him away for anything. She saw him from afar, smiled at him as he approaches. Though the bitterness of reality hit her, she saw him turning away another direction as if they didn’t saw each other. She was crushed. Not an inch she moved for she was traumatized to see him act that way. There was too much pain in her heart that seems to drain all her strength. And her tears, they began to stream down from her eyes as if it will never stop. When she couldn’t bare it anymore, her feet starts to move by itself causing her to run with no definite place to go to. She did not mind the people she had and might bumped into. The only thing in her mind was to run and run. When she reached the glass door where she came in, she pushed it with all her might and still ran outside to the streets. The minute she reached and crossed the road, a speeding car bumped into her causing her, her life. People started to circle around as they pity the girl lying on the floor with blood spilled on her dress, and a few coming out from her lips. It was just a few months after she turned 20. She was so young, so full of life, hopes and dreams. A girl who died young to know the world. A girl who died drenched in her own tears.